


Roles

by fromGallifreytoGallitep (sykira)



Series: Poly fam [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: BDSM, F/F, F/M, Julian is the Sweetest Dom to Ever Dom, M/M, Multi, Non-Monogamy of the Ethical Sort, Polyamory, Safewords, WIP, kirashir, obrashir, role play
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-16 21:22:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21277922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sykira/pseuds/fromGallifreytoGallitep
Summary: First time holodeck (light) BDSM role play for a foursome, two of them being new to polyamory.  Nothing explicit as yet.





	1. Safewords

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon: O’Brien/Keiko/Kira are a poly family following the Kirayoshi surrogacy, when the O’Briens asked her to live with them, but before that happened Bashir (per my headcanon) was part of occasional threesomes with the O’Briens, at Keiko’s suggestion. Now that Kira is part of it, she and Bashir are starting to get closer too. 
> 
> Part of a work in progress. Neither the poly nor bdsm dynamics are perfect (perfect is boring and unrealistic!) - mostly not dysfunctional but none of them are experts, so it’s more of a process than a presentation of The Right Way to do things, if that makes sense!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prologue to Roles, their first attempt to explain safewords - nothing dubcon, just a new polyamorous family finding their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that I'm apparently writing this series in anything but chronological order!

“A _what?_”

“A safeword – a word you use if things get too much and want to break character.”

“Why do I need one?” Her eyes were round as they looked back and forth between Julian and Miles. “What are you going to do?”

Julian felt his stomach pitch at the momentary fear that flitted through Kira’s eyes. He opened his mouth to call the whole thing off right there and then, but Miles spoke up first.

“Just what we’ve been talking about – role play, just pretend. Like when you and Jadzia go to Camelot. Just…in the bedroom.”

There was an expectant pause. Julian held his hand out. He didn’t care if technically this was supposed to be just talking, he needed to hold her when she looked like that.

Kira met his eyes and she must have picked up on some of his discomfort because her wary expression softened immediately. She left her perch on the arm of the O’Briens’ couch to sit at Julian’s side and slid her hand into his.

“Will I need to say the word a lot?”

Miles’ eyes widened. “NO.”

Julian put a hand on Miles’ shoulder. “The idea is you will never need to use it, Nerys. It’s more like a failsafe.”

“Ideally,” added Miles, passing a hand across his face. “_Where_ is Keiko anyway?”

“Sorry,” said Keiko brightly, entering the living room and closing the kids bedroom door behind her. “Molly has been asleep for a while but Kirayoshi took forever tonight. I think he’s teething.”

Miles moved off the couch to make room for her, grabbing a cushion and sitting on the rug in front of them. He lifted Keiko’s feet into his lap. She dropped her head back and let out a low moan as he began rubbing her calves.

“What did I miss?” Keiko said, in between sighs.

“Miles says we can’t start role play until we have a special word.” Kira shifted a little in her seat, her eyes on Keiko’s face, which was still thrown back with eyes closed. Julian wondered if Kira was still uncomfortable, or if it was something else that was making her squirm.

Keiko laughed. “Yes, Miles won’t do anything without safewords, or aftercare, he’s adorable like that.” She opened her eyes to give her husband a smile.

“Aftercare?” echoed Kira.

Julian put his arm around her, drawing her close. “We’ll get to that.” He smiled down at her and interlaced their fingers where he was still holding her hand. “Let’s just keep safewording simple. How about _‘stop’_?”

Miles grimaced. “Thing is, that could be part of the role play—even Molly will tell you to stop tickling her, but then get mad at you if you actually do stop.”

Julian shook his head. “I get that, but for me, with us,” he looked to Kira, “if anyone says _‘stop’_—or for that matter _‘no’ _or _‘don’t_’ – then I’m going to stop, every time.”

Miles looked at him steadily. Julian sensed he had more to say but knew now was not the time.

“Right you are, Julian. But there’s also the school of thought that once someone safewords then it’s all over for the evening. End of. Straight into aftercare.”

“Okay, but that’s if someone safewords _'red'_ – full stop.”

Miles nodded. “So you are saying you want “stop” and “no” as the equivalent of _’yellow’_ – a request for a pause but not necessarily game over?”

“Yes. That sounds about right.”

“Then just _’red’_ or _‘safeword’_ if things are so crazy that we call a complete stop?”

Julian nodded and turned his attention to the woman in his arms. “Are you following, Nerys?”

“I think so?” She looked back and forth between them.

Just then the doorbell chime sounded.

Keiko jumped up. “Oh good, that will be Jake to watch the kids, I was worried we were going to be late for our holosuite reservation.”

“Wait just a second,” Miles demurred. “Kira – are you clear?”

“Yellow is wait, red is stop, or just say ‘safeword’.”

Keiko squeezed her arm even as Julian released her and stood up too so they could present less of a confusing picture to Jake Sisko, who as far as he knew was coming to babysit just so they could have dinner in the holosuite.

“She’s got it, Miles. Let’s go.”


	2. A Conversation About Manhood

Keiko and Kira sent Miles and Julian on ahead—apparently deciding on an outfit change at the last minute. Miles didn’t mind giving them alone time, it gave him a chance to talk to Julian. 

He waited until they were safely ensconced at a relatively private table at Quark’s, two frosted steins of lager in front of them. “Thought you said you’ve done this before?”

Julian took a drink before answering, avoiding his eyes. “I have. For years.”

“And you want ‘stop’ as a safeword?” O’Brien’s tone was incredulous.

“With Nerys? Yes.” His tone brooked no argument. “And ‘no’, and ‘don’t’, and frankly any sign or cry that sounds even remotely like genuine distress. I’d rather a hundred false alarms than one time I actually do something that scares or—“ He broke off and sucked in a breath, running a hand over his face. “…hurts her,” he finished faintly.

The force of his response gave Miles pause and not for the first time he pondered just how deep the other man’s affections ran for their Major Kira. She was clearly so much more to him than his best friend’s paramour.

“So…it is because it’s Nerys?” he pressed, trying to keep his tone gentle.

He was so on edge and Miles was surprised. He thought if anything venturing into role play would have been hardest on Kira, but so far she seemed very intrigued by it. For some reason it was Julian who looked like he was about to jump out of his skin.

Julian nodded. “I have done this with lots of women Miles, but not one with a past like hers. We need to be very _very_ careful.”

“I know that. You and her are part of our family. But I also think it could help her.”

“Or traumatize her.”

“In the wrong hands, yes. But it’s just us. I’m not suggesting we pitch up to Risa V after dark anytime soon, if you know what I mean.”

Miles could practically see the blood drain from the other man’s face at even the thought of taking Kira into a kink club, much less one with the reputation of Risa V. 

Julian shuddered. “We don’t have a runabout fit to fly that far.”

“Well, actually…”

“And if we do, it’s your job as chief of operations to make sure it’s _not_ operating.”

Miles flung his hands up at the vehemence in Julian’s tone. “Message received loud and clear, sir!” He clicked his heels and tapped off a mock salute that Julian chose to ignore.

“So,” Miles leaned back in his chair. “Now we’ve established you will be commanding your junior officers to sabotage perfectly good Starfleet runabouts just to keep your Major Kira far away from having any fun with anyone _but_ us, I’d like to get back to my position that this doesn’t have to be a scary or negative experience in any way. In fact, we will make it fun. For everyone.”

“_How_ do you know? That this might help her?”

Miles sighed and shrugged slightly, holding Julian’s gaze.

“…She’s not the first woman you have role played with who has previously been through…” Julian let his eyes close and his voice trail off without finishing the sentence, Miles’ expression had already given him the answer and the rest was none of his business.

He spread his hands and opened his eyes again. “Okay. But I’m out of my depth and I need you to use that experience to do everything you can to keep her safe.”

“Of course, man.”

“And to keep me from doing anything wrong.”

“You worry too much, Julian. You couldn’t do anything to hurt her even if you tried.”

“Now _that _scares me. How much lager have you had?”

Mile snorted. “I’m beginning to think we should get you a few more rounds.” He regarded the young doctor thoughtfully. “Do you know, I was watching you with her the other day, and I thought to myself, hang on a minute, I thought Julian was a Dom. And I had a moment where I called into question everything I ever knew about you, and tried to remember everything you’ve ever told me about how you are with girls, everything I’ve seen with my own eyes – all dom, all the way, heck all the stories I used to pry out of Leeta when she’d had a few too many spring wines.” 

Julian made a noise in the back of his throat.

Miles’ gaze drifted off into space. “Do you know we have Leeta to thank for piquing Keiko’s interest? I swear the two of them got into it one night – NO not like that! You know what I meant, talking. And Leeta, it’s not that she ever gave _details_ but she had this way of conveying information anyway, especially with Keiko, that woman can put the Obsidian order to shame to way she can extract what she wants to know, and Leeta never could quite hide just how impressed she was by your clown-shoes-huge…” The words died in his throat.

And Julian slowly lifted his head from where he had dropped it onto his arms, giving up on trying to pretend this conversation wasn’t happening. “Whatsa matter Miles? Your brain finally caught up with your mouth and you thought better of informing half of Quark’s what Leeta thinks of my—”

Just in time the two women now standing in front of them swam into focus and Julian snapped his jaw shut and blinked a few times trying to recover his composure.

“Looks like we’re interrupting a very interesting conversation.” Keiko smiled down at them coyly. “Why don’t Kira and I just go ahead and get the holosuite ready.”

Julian rubbed a hand over his face. “You know that’s just a Bajoran – human thing, anyway,” he mumbled once the women were out of earshot.

“What is?”

“The relative size of your, uh, manhood.”

O’Brien smirked. “Is that what they call it in Starfleet medical?”

Julian rounded on him. “Oh would you prefer phallus, shaft, or male member?”

Miles held up his hands, laughing now. “Manhood, manhood! So are you saying…Bajoran men have wee ones?”

Julian closed his eyes for a moment, looking pained. “It’s just different. Bajorans have cartilage in places humans don’t, as I’m guessing you know by now, and it helps if certain anatomical features can be more forgiving than other species need them to be.”

“Cartilage…like their noses?”

Julian nodded, tilting his head as he considered that maybe he was wrong to assume how far things had gone between Kira and the O’Briens as yet.

“So Bajoran women…?”

He mimed sealing his lips. “I don’t kiss and tell.” Unlike Leeta apparently, he didn’t add.

Miles cocked his head. “So all this time, Keiko was getting all excited, and you could’ve been micro-manhood himself for all we knew!”

“The differences aren’t that dramatic, chief.”

Miles squinted at him, as if trying to decipher what that meant. “Well let’s hope not, or I’d be beginning to see your point about hurtin’ her. The major I mean.”

Julian’s jaw set. “I never hurt Leeta.” He looked away. “But I was always careful.” He breathed out slowly. “And Nerys…is a very different person.”

Miles shifted in his chair and his expression sobered. “Please don’t say she’s tougher. I know she is in many ways, but with this kind of thing…I mean I remember when Bareil and Shakaar both were putting the moves on her, and boy did they, they had to come on _very _strong. Dax and some of us sometimes tried to run interference for her but she acquiesced in the end. 

“Do you think she loved them?”

“I think eventually she did, definitely Bareil, but they were very much dominant in how they pursued her, and even after. Shakaar was so aggressive about her carrying Kirayoshi, he did NOT like that one bit, and he never stopped riding her about it.”

“Mm hmm, I saw enough of that to be extremely glad when he was finally out of her life.”

Miles made a noise of enthusiastic agreement. “So, while you’re right, our Major is no shrinking violet, she is one of those women who can sometimes let herself…I don’t know. She slips into the submissive role in relationships even though she’s the opposite in her career.”

“It’s not uncommon, especially in paramilitary environments where you have to be tough to survive.”

“I mean if you think about it,” Miles paused to take a healthy draught of his lager. “One boyfriend was her Vedek, almost her Kai, and the other the leader of her resistance cell since she was a child. Hardly equal footing. She was already accustomed to obeying them and to my mind they both played on that when they should have set it aside.”

Julian nodded. He had similar observations that had left a bad taste in his mouth when Kira was involved with both Bareil and Shakaar.

Miles was still on a roll. “We at least don’t have that problem – she’s _our _commanding officer, and even if one of us did outrank her, we would _never _fall back on that or let our position have any influence over a personal relationship.” He reached for his drink again.

“Yeah because we aren’t targ shit,” Julian muttered, reaching for his own lager, feeling the need to take the edge off the turn this conversation had taken.

Miles almost choked. “Hoo ooh, now we find out how you really feel about her exes.”

Julian just side-eyed him and chose to sip his drink rather than respond.

“But that brings me back to the good doctor, not stepping into his usual big boy boots in this new relationship.”

Julian shifted in his seat. “We don’t even know yet if it’s an actual polyamorous relationship she wants, or if…” he broke off to gesture vaguely, “any kind of…dalliance with me is just something she’s considering to keep you and Keiko happy.”

O’Brien was clearly taken aback. “Julian…you’re kidding right? Have you seen the way she looks at you, especially when we’re off-duty and alone? If you’re so much as one minute late you’re all she can talk about. Or the numerous times I’ve caught her watching you recently even when we’re _on _duty?”

Julian was staring at him as if he had grown an extra head. “Major Kira?!” he qualified incredulously.

Miles snorted a laugh. “Oh my word man, the two of you have it so bad and you don’t even have a clue the other one feels the same way.”

Julian was shaking his head. “Maybe she’s just fixated on me because I still make her uncomfortable when I show up in your guys’s relationship and she’s tracking where I am.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me man. _This_ is why you’re so careful around her? Did you think Keiko and I are pushing you at her? We gave her a hundred chances to back out of doing _anything_ involving you.” He shook his head, peering at Julian closely. “I mean, I’ll admit, the idea still makes her nervous, I think cause you keep treating her with kid gloves and so you guys aren’t past that initial scary bit yet, but she very much wants this—wants _you_. I’d stake every stembolt on the station on it.”

Julian tilted his head. “Without stembolts, what would happen to Deep Space Nine?”

“Deep Space debris, my friend. So I am staking every life on this station on how right I am.”


	3. “Search them for weapons.”

Miles approached his prisoners, leering and swaggering. Chewing the scenery as always, Julian thought, suppressing a fond smile. 

His handcuffs clinked against those of his fellow captive. Kira was fidgeting with the chain, the metal reddening her wrists where she was straining against the bonds as Miles-as-Falcon neared. It was nothing Julian couldn’t fix with the low setting on a dermal regenerator, but it still gave him pause to see her chafing against handcuffs she could easily escape from if she flicked the quick release safety switch.

He opened his mouth to ask her if she was okay, this was their first time role-playing in the holosuite together after all, but just then Falcon bore down on them.

“Well well, quite a predicament, my English spy and his lovely Russian counterpart, chained to the very nuclear warhead they had hoped to liberate…all your friends deserted, or dispatched by my very able assassin. He paused to tip a wink at Keiko, who gave him a seductive smile from her perch where she was polishing an array of leather whips and floggers.

“I wouldn’t get too cocky just yet, Falcon,” Keiko cooed at him, her voice wrapping around all three of them like some siren on the sea. Beside him Julian could feel Kira relax slightly, ceasing her struggle against her restraints, as Keiko—the ‘evil mastermind’ behind their current predicament—turned her sly smile on her.

“These two always have some kind of trick up their sleeve,” she purred, not even trying to hide the affection in her expression as she and Kira locked eyes.

“You’re right,” Falcon intoned, “I should search them.”

If Julian hadn’t been lightly pressed up against her, trying to angle his body to shield her as much as he could from Falcon, he might have missed Kira’s slight flinch. His eyebrows drew together in concern. Something wasn’t quite right here, her reactions were tingling his medical instincts—or was he just imagining it? 

He watched, supposedly helpless to intervene, as Falcon cupped a hand slowly around Kira’s face, his broad thumb stroking her chin. Kira didn’t turn into it as might have done out of character since their relationship had developed beyond friendship, instead she held perfectly still.

Julian’s finger twitched with the effort of not hitting the safety switch in the handcuffs himself. Instead he rattled the cuffs suddenly, making both Miles and Kira jump. “Don’t touch her, you blackguard! Keep your filthy hands to yourself,” he snarled. 

Miles dropped his hand, looking taken aback for a moment. “Fine.” He shrugged. “Take off that jacket, Colonel…oh wait, you’re a little tied up at the moment.” He grinned. “I guess I’ll have to do it for you.”

Julian held his breath as Kira lifted her chin, her eyes locked defiantly with Miles. They held eye contact as the Chief’s hands made short work of the black sequined buttons that had kept the shrug around her shoulders. It fell away, revealing her satin evening dress that was little more than a slip that hugged all her curves. 

Julian averted his eyes automatically, still unused to thinking of Major Kira in that way, or at least being _allowed_ to think of the major that way.

“Verrrry nice,” Miles waggled his eyebrows in full on Falcon mode. Julian’s frown deepened, his senses alight with anticipatory tension. Kira was stock still again except for the slightest hitch in her breath as Falcon leaned in. 

He waited a beat, half-expecting Kira to safeword any minute now, but she didn’t. Falcon loomed over her and she shrank back against Julian.

He couldn’t take it anymore. “Stop it, Falcon. Now.”

Miles finally broke off from staring at Nerys long enough to toss a sneer at Julian. Then he dropped to his knees and Julian had a sudden memory of Nerys describing the conversation when Miles and Keiko had first asked her to move in with them. She had said Miles spent the whole conversation sitting at her feet on the floor while she and Keiko had the couch. She said it was strange, she didn’t feel comfortable with his apparent submission to her when that was very much not their dynamic before or since. 

It was Julian that had gently suggested it might have been deliberate—a signal to help her feel safe, comfortable enough to at least consider what they were asking—that any time she felt overwhelmed he would back down, change their interaction to be the least threatening scenario possible.

He could tell from the light in her eyes that she had loved that explanation, and Julian wondered if Miles had in fact picked up on Kira’s skittishness, even subconsciously, or if he was just reading way too much into it—it certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

Then Falcon began slowly running his hands up Kira’s legs, ostensibly searching her for weapons. Julian’s eyes flew to her face. She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as Miles hands traveled higher, and her hands strained against the cuffs. Once he reached her thighs something flitted across her expression, brief, but unmistakable: panic.

That decided him. Julian touched the tiny lever releasing his cuffs, and then on Kira’s cuffs too. Superior hand-eye coordination had its uses, he mused. They were free before Falcon understood what was happening. Julian barreled into Miles, sending the two of them sprawling.

“What the…”

“Should have searched me first, Falcon, I had the spare keys to the handcuffs all along,” he crowed, rolling to the side and narrowly missing Miles boxing his ears.

~~

“You want to tell me what that was all about?”

Julian cradled his lager close to his chest, looking down at the amber liquid thoughtfully, before finally shrugging lightly. “You mean the holosuite?”

Miles snorted. “You know bloody rightly what I mean. You get overcome with a homoerotic desire to wrestle out of nowhere? That it?”

Julian looked up at him sheepishly. “That is absolutely what happened,” he deadpanned. “You’re a good-looking man, chief, what can I say?” He widened his eyes in a thin attempt at sincerity before being unable to resist a smile when he saw the mirth dancing in Miles' eyes. 

“So there was more to it,” he supplied. 

Julian sighed inwardly – he had hoped to keep the O’Briens in the dark on this one, unless Nerys herself wanted to talk to them, which he doubted. She had let the rest of their holosuite fantasy play out with only a little improvisation to cover where Julian had deviated from the script; ‘Ana’ had taken Keiko’s character captive, and the two women had only had eyes for each other from that point on. He and Miles finally got bored and headed down to the bar for a drink.

“To be honest, I don’t fully know there was more going on or if was just a hunch on my part.” Julian took a long swallow of his drink.

“A hunch?”

He shrugged again. “Doctor instinct maybe, or just seeing something that wasn’t there…but,” he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “Well, just between us, Nerys looked a little…uncomfortable with where the scenario was going.”

Miles wilted a little in his chair. “Damnit. I knew she was nervous, but I didn’t pick up on it being serious. I thought she was just playing along.” He ran a hand through his hair. “To be honest I half forgot this was her first time – at proper role play anyway.”

Julian nodded. “She very well might have been playing along, and it was nothing more than that.” 

“But?” Miles prompted,

“But…she was tugging at the handcuffs pretty hard.”

Miles frowned and set his beer stein down too hard, making lager splash on the bar. “They have a wee key thing, lever wotsit!” 

“I know,” Julian said softly, laying a hand on the other’s man arm to placate him before he got too agitated. It was a bad idea to have this conversation when their imported lager was anything but synthehol. “And everything we do has a safeword. _Levels_ of safewords, and she didn’t use any of those either.”

He drew himself up on the barstool and took a deep breath. “Miles, it may be she’s just not ready—”

O’Brien’s harrumph cut him off. “Why don’t we just ask her?”

Julian leaned forward on his arms. “I’m not sure about directly asking, you know? She didn’t safeword, and she could have got herself out of the cuffs at any time.”

Miles ran a hand around the back of his neck. “Well, if she was…I dunno, twitchy, why do you think it was?”

Julian took a swallow of his drink, glancing around to make sure there was no chance of eavesdroppers.

“When they gave us the assignment briefing, years ago, back when the federation first established a presence on the station—they said something—it might have just been in the medical officers’ briefing, I don’t remember. But they said to be careful with the Bajoran female population, given the length of the occupation there are entire generations that have only known…how did they put it? Two kinds of men—Bajoran men, and those who wanted to hurt them. So to a population like that, men and women, they see the world, even in peace time, as them and us—Bajoran, or an alien who can’t be trusted.”

O’Brien shifted in his seat, grimacing. The two men shared a look before the doctor continued.

“And a scenario where she was threatened with being physically searched…might have triggered goodness knows what experiences she has been through, and when she looks at us, at a man, making those threats, she sees aliens.”

O’Brien muttered a curse and ran a hand over his face.

They were interrupted just then by women’s laughter floating down to them as the entrance to the holosuite swooshed open, ejecting Kira and Keiko onto the staircase above. 

Julian stood up, trying to buy time for Miles to recover his composure before Keiko and Kira reached them. “Finished so soon ladies?”

Keiko eyed the beer steins lined up on the bar as she and Kira made their way down the stairs. “You boys not done drinking? Feel free to keep at it, Nerys and I are headed home – the holosuite got a little…restrictive.” 

They giggled conspiratorially as the men looked at each other in confusion.

It was Kira that took pity on them. “Holosuite safeties she means.” 

Miles nodded with an “ah” and promptly lifted his lager. “Looks like we have time for another round I’d say.” He winked at Julian, who was still puzzled, until Keiko indicated her bags of whips and floggers. Julian’s mouth opened slightly. _That explained the flush in Nerys’ cheeks then._

Keiko nudged Kira and they turned to leave.

“Hang on,” Miles interjected before they could head for the door. “Nerys?”

“Miles…” Julian mumbled, something in him sobering instantly. Confronting her felt like a terrible idea, even if he couldn’t articulate why. At least not here, as deserted as Quarks was this time of night, the proprietor himself was still around here somewhere, as well as a couple he didn’t recognize in the far corner, and Morn was still propping up the other end of the bar, a Dabo girl on his arm. 

O’Brien set his stein down again and came around behind the ladies, settling one hand low on Kira’s back. Her eyes widened slightly and Julian saw her scan the room to make sure no one was watching them. Polyamory had come a long way in being less of a taboo, but everything was far too new for any of them to consider going public yet – they’d still be subjected to all manner of gossip at the very least. 

Kira’s complexion reddened further and her shoulders tensed as Miles leant in. 

“Did you have fun tonight?”

She nodded. 

“It wasn’t…a bit much? For your first time? Did Falcon come on too strong?”

She swallowed, looking up at Miles. 

“You know we’re just playing, right?” he continued.

She huffed out a laugh that sounded nervous to Julian’s ears. “Of course, I know that chief.”

Keiko was watching them now, a slight frown marring her features. She flicked a glance to Julian then followed his gaze to where Kira was pulling her shrug jacket back around her shoulders and doing up the buttons. Keiko's eyebrows shot up. “Oh, Nerys, your wrists!” They all looked down at the bracelets of red marks around the Major’s wrists.

“It’s nothing,” she mumbled, dropping her hands.

Julian stood up quickly, not wanting the awkward silence to grow. Kira looked like she wanted to squirm under all the attention.

“Actually, how about we swing by the infirmary for a moment? Don’t want to show up to the morning staff meeting with those.” He nodded his head towards her wrists with a casual air that matched his nonchalant tone. “They could become bruises by then, but I can get rid of them in a jiffy with a subdermal regenerator?”

Kira’s shoulders relaxed somewhat and she nodded at him.

He had to resist the urge to take her hand as she extricated herself from the O’Briens, not missing the look of concern they shared between them.

The walk to the infirmary was short, but Julian was again seized with an unexpectedly strong desire to take her hand as they walked, and not for the first time since the O’Briens had brought Nerys into this…this whatever it was between them, he found himself entertaining the notion that even if they couldn’t as yet go public with the poly side of things, there would be no such stigma if he and Nerys were to be open about their relationship changing. Gossip for sure, but nothing taboo.

~ 

Julian monitored Kira’s reactions as he gently applied the dermal regenerator to her wrists. She really had done a number on the fragile skin there and it took several passes to make sure she wouldn’t bruise.

“There, all better.”

Kira nodded, her eyes carefully tracking his movements as he slowly released her wrists. She wrung her hands around the now-healed skin.

He set the equipment down, and then pulled up his stool, sitting directly in front of the bio-bed where she was perched. “How do you feel?”

She shrugged lightly. “Fine.”

Julian stood up slowly, watching her. She was still looking at her hands and avoiding his eyes. But she wasn’t getting up and leaving, so he decided to take a chance and push a little further. He went to the door to the examination room and closed it slowly, touching the control panel to secure it. The room was so quiet that the snick of the lock engaging could be heard and he knew Kira couldn’t miss the fact that they were alone.

She lifted her eyes then and watched as he returned to the stool, her fingers interlacing in front of her defensively before she seemed to think better of it and pulled her hands apart, bunching them in fists on her thighs as he sat on the stool in front of her again.

She was silent for a full minute. Julian just waited.

She opened her mouth and closed it, before blurting out. “It’s just…it’s not like that was my first time being in restraints, and to make a game of it…” She shrugged and looked down. “Guess it’s just not…a game.” She glanced up at him then, flexing her hands as if readying for a fight. 

He nodded sympathetically.

She sighed and dropped her shoulders, looking around the room, and if casting about for a way to explain herself. “Remember when you and I went to that other…um, mirror…whatever, universe I guess, and we were taken to that other version of the station, where the intendant held us captive?”

He nodded solemnly. 

“You were taken to ore processing…and the other Odo, and Garak…” Her breathing had quickened.

“I remember.” 

She held his gaze then, her eyes luminous in the almost ethereal after hours lighting of the infirmary.

“It wasn’t a game.” Her voice was higher in pitch than usual.

“No, it wasn’t. It was terrifying,” he said simply. 

She deflated slightly at that, perhaps not expecting his immediate acknowledgement. 

He continued softly. “That was my first time, being held captive for a prolonged amount of time, and subject to violence on the whims of the captors.” 

She regarded him for a moment. “It wasn’t mine.” 

“I figured,” he breathed. 

“I just don’t understand how, when you’ve gone through something like that, that playing at being held captive can be fun.”

He pressed his lips together. “Nerys…can I…” He held out one hand to her, slowly.

Her eyebrows drew down slightly, her nose ridges creasing closer together in worry before she cleared her expression and forced out a breath, sliding her hand tentatively into his.

“Let’s try something, okay?” He cradled her hand in his and reached for the other one. “May I?” 

For a moment she didn’t move at all, then she hesitantly gave him her free hand. Her back had straightened and she looked like she was getting ready to flee.

He kept his voice low and steady, his eyes trained on hers. “If you want me to let you go, just tell me.”

She tilted her head in confusion, her eyes searching his. “Julian?”

“_Do_ you want me to let you go?” He enclosed her small wrists in a gentle grip to indicate what he meant.

Kira drew her bottom lip into her mouth for a moment, staring at their hands, then she shook her head.

“No?”

“No.” Her answer was barely a whisper.

More from instinct than intent his fingertips had found her pulse and before making any conscious decision to do so he had registered that it was racing. He almost released her there and then, her reaction was stronger than he had expected to such a simple act, and the last thing he wanted to do was frighten her and makes things worse.

“Breathe, Nerys,” he murmured warmly, giving her a small reassuring smile.

She drew in a breath and looked at him directly for a moment. He catalogued the slight tightness around her eyes, the way her tongue darted out to wet her lips (_Had her mouth gone dry? Was he scaring her that much?_) but the pupils of her eyes were blown huge, and the tremor in her hands was easing.

“You remember you can tell me to release you at any point and I will let you go?”

She nodded, wide-eyed.

He swallowed. “How does it make you feel?”

Incredibly, she closed her eyes, and something in his chest unwound. She wouldn’t close her eyes if she was afraid of him. 

“Safe, I feel safe right now.”

Julian released a deep breath of his own.

“And earlier?” he prompted as gently as he could.

“You mean when we were handcuffed?” she asked eventually, her voice so quiet he had to lean in to make sure he caught her words.

“Yes.”

She opened her eyes and sunk her teeth into her bottom lip. “I guess I felt, I don’t know, it was nothing really.”

When he didn’t say anything else she took a shaky breath and continued. “A little nervous maybe. That’s silly, isn’t it, it’s only make-believe.”

“It’s not silly at all, it’s very common, to experience the emotions of the character you’re playing.”

She looked at him curiously. “Then I guess…scared. Anastasia was scared.”

“She didn’t want Falcon to search her.” Julian slipped smoothly into using third person – if that was how she wanted to process this it was fine by him.

Kira swallowed hard and nodded. Julian smoothed his fingertips gently over the recently-healed skin on her wrists. “Nerys, can I ask why you didn’t safeword?”

Her eyebrows rose. “What?”

“You remember we talked about how you can use-”

“No I remember, but this wasn’t, I mean…it wasn’t like that.” She frowned. “Was it?”

Her shoulders tensed, her impossibly huge eyes holding his, and he realized with a sinking feeling in his gut that she was genuinely asking him. She was not only completely new to the entire world of role play and alternative relationships, but it was entirely possible she was nowhere near close enough to understanding herself to stay within safe limits.

His fingertips traced tentative patterns on her wrists as he very slowly released his hold on them, inching back until her hands rested in his palms.

“Julian?”

“I think there’s still a lot we should talk about. All of us. I don’t…I’m worried this isn’t safe for you.”

She withdrew her hands from his gradually, pulling them into her lap and curling in on herself. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I don’t understand.”

“I know. It’s all right. We have time.” He smiled at her gently, relieved when she gave him a confused smile in return.

“Can we get out of here?” She was already climbing down from the bio–bed. “Keiko’s waiting for me.”


	4. Consent Play

It was on the tip of Julian’s tongue to broach the idea of maybe waiting for another night, when they had all had a chance to talk—about safewords, if nothing else—another night when no one had been drinking, or at least see if he could take Miles away so Kira could have some time with just Keiko, but the Kira paused in the doorway to the examination room and looked back at him, her tentative next words causing his thoughts to derail.

“Will you come?”

Something in the reticent tone in which she spoke those three simple words was so completely unlike her it stopped him in his tracks. He looked at her closely. “Was it just going to be you and Keiko?”

“I don’t know. When we are at their place Miles usually joins in now.” She bit her lip and shrugged with a lightness that felt forced to Julian. 

“Do you want me to come?”

She looked confused that he would even ask. “Yes. Very much.” She looked up at him briefly. “I mean, if you would want to?”

“I would like to,” he began cautiously, “but I don’t think we should play any more tonight. Maybe just talk, and I think aftercare would be a really good idea.” _For me, if nothing else, _he thought fleetingly, finally understanding why people claimed doms needed aftercare too.

“That’s just…cuddling?”

He raised his shoulders and tilted his head. “If you want to. The idea is just to center us, bring us back down to Earth.”

She quirked her lips. 

“Or Bajor, I don’t know,” he grinned at his Terran idiom. Her smile in response was radiant. 

“Or if you are tired I can walk you back to your quarters?”

She tilted her head. “You know it’s a pretty safe station.”

“If it was your job to patch up every bump and bruise, grievous bodily harm and serious assault on this station you might have a different impression of it.”

She matched his smile. 

“…not to mention it’s not a good idea to be alone after a scene.”

“I’m fine, Julian.” Her trademark eye roll convinced him more than her words.  
  
“And...it’s just something I would like to do,” he finished, fiddling with the bioscanner to shut it down for the evening.  
  
She tilted her head “Okay then, but if we call things off with the O’Briens it might take a while before our schedules align again.”

“I believe I have some pull with the station’s first officer,” he grinned. “But if you are really sure you’re up for it…”

She nodded. “Cuddling sounds nice.” 

He touched his commbadge. “Miles, Kira and I are pretty tired, Could we come by just to hang out a little bit.” He emphasized the _just_ in the sentence and hoped Miles would get the right idea.  
  
“Right you are, Julian.”  
  


\---

Kira dropped her head back on the O’Brien’s couch, looking like she wanted to squirm. Julian caused her eye. She gave him a chagrinned smile and a tiny shrug.

“Is it something we can practice?” she blurted out suddenly, cutting off Miles’s earnest treaty on feelings and consent and safewords. 

That idea threw Julian for a moment, but Miles didn’t skip a beat. “Sure, c’mere.” He held out his hand. After a second of hesitation, Nerys took Miles’s hand and joined him standing in the middle of the living room.

Julian shifted in his seat on the O’Brien’s couch, barely stopping himself from following her. He caught Miles eyeing him curiously. “You alright, Julian?”

Keiko chimed in. “Miles, Julian looks a little uncomfortable, why don’t we try something else?” She got to her feet.

“I’m not going to hurt her!” Miles protested.

Kira squeezed Miles’ hand and looked at Keiko, bemused.

Keiko winked at them. “I know, honey. This won’t take long. I know we agreed the rest of tonight we are just supposed to be talking about things.”

Julian noted Kira’s posture relax immediately and he himself let out a breath. Keiko turned her attention to Julian and he followed her direction as she arranged him one end of the couch, letting his body relax as Keiko placed him just as she wanted him. 

“Okay, Miles, dim the lights please. Nerys, can you lie down with your head on Julian’s lap?”

Kira obeyed her without hesitation, and Keiko bestowed a beautiful smile on them both. Electricity rippled through him as the room darkened and Nerys wriggled on his lap.

“Can I touch her?” he asked Keiko, his eyes on Nerys. She shivered at his words, but her dazzling smile put his mind to rest that is was anything but the good kind of shiver.

“Nerys?” Keiko prompted.

“Of course,” she whispered, smiling shyly up at him.

Julian looked to Keiko, who nodded approvingly. “Yes you may, but keep to safe places for now.”

Miles huffed a laugh. “You can save your breath Keiko, he’s too much of an Englishman to do anything else.”

“Hey!” Julian protested without much heart in it.

“Hush, boys,” Keiko admonished them. “Miles, just for that, all you get to do is watch.”

Miles grumbled good-naturedly, and sat down across from them

“May I touch you, Nerys?” Keiko asked, going to her knees beside Kira, her voice dropping to a lower register.

Kira nodded immediately, but Keiko didn’t move. She looked straight at Nerys and they shared an intimate smile. To Julian observing the two women, they were acting as if it was just the two of them in the room. 

“As we are practicing good communication tonight, I want you to say yes or no, Nerys, all right?”

Kira nodded again and offered a slightly breathless, “yes”, her eyes fixed on Keiko.

Keiko smiled. “We are going to do a really simple role play, just an exercise in communication. I might simulate some sensory deprivation, like a pretend blindfold or something covering your mouth – how would you feel about that?”

“That’s fine,” Kira managed. Julian was watching her reactions so closely he imagined he saw her pulse jump in her throat. He tensed; he wasn’t sure _he_ was fine with anyone blindfolding or gagging her, not when her “that’s fine” had sounded a little too much like a question for his liking.

“Okay,” Keiko’s voice was soothing. “I’m going to give you a character. I’ll call you Cala. Cala is in a new relationship with me, and we are just getting to know each other. We want to play, but if I touch her somewhere that she doesn’t like, she just says ‘yellow’, so the scene doesn’t end, but I’ll just avoid that area as we continue. Make sense?”

Kira nodded, transfixed. 

Keiko raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Kira supplied, smiling.

“I want you to pick a part of your body that doesn’t actually bother you if I touch you, and we can just pretend it’s a no-go area for Cala.”

“Oh, um…” Kira looked down at herself and shrugged. 

“How about knees?” Keiko offered.

“Knees,” Nerys echoed. Then when Keiko apparently wanted more words she whispered, “yes, knees work.”

Keiko rocked back on her heels for a moment. “But it doesn’t just have to be an area of your body, it could be an action, like if someone in a scene pretends to choke you, or just holds you down in a way you don’t like, that would be when you would safeword.”

Her eyes wide now, almost not breathing at all, Kira nodded. 

Unable to sit still any longer, Julian moved his hand slowly, stroking her hair very gently. She took a breath, her eyes finding his, gave him a small smile that reassured him she was okay, but he kept his hand loosely resting on her hair anyway, not sure at this point if he was more trying to comfort Nerys, or himself.

Keiko watched them speculatively. “I think I would like to use Julian as a prop if I may.”

Kira’s eyebrows rose at the same time as Julian’s, although he doubted she also shared the jolt of excitement than ran through his body at all the possibilities unfolding in his imagination that involved Keiko using his as a prop in bed with Nerys.

“During the scene I’m going to ask him to cover your mouth, and we’ll pretend I’ve gagged you. As long as you—Kira—are all right with how that feels, I’ll tell him to cover your eyes too—which we will role play as something that makes Cala nervous. So when he covers your eyes I want you to safeword without speaking—because remember, you’ll be ‘gagged’.”

“How do I safeword without speaking?” Kira sounded genuinely curious, and not, Julian noted with relief, reluctant or nervous.

“With your free hand open all your fingers at once, then make a fist, then splay your fingers open again. When I see that, I will take it as a ‘yellow’, and for ‘red’—not that we are going to go that far, but just in case, shake your head back and forth repeatedly.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

They shared a smile. “Ready, Cala?” asked Keiko.

Kira wriggled a little on the couch. “Ready.”

Keiko hummed a little. “Hello my darling, you look tired after a long day at work, why don’t you just lie there and let me relax you.”

Kira’s smile grew wide, and Julian had the distinct impression she was fighting a burst of giggles. 

Keiko smiled too as she knelt down and peppered her face with butterfly kisses. Kira tilted her head back and Keiko trailed her kisses, more open-mouthed now, on her exposed throat.

The mood in the room had become electric faster than Julian would have thought possible. He hardly dared breathe, all he could hear were the two women’s soft sighs and quiet moans. Unable to move a muscle, he stared at them, transfixed, his eyes cataloging their every move.

Kira sucked in a breath as Keiko moved lower, fingertips trailing a path down her breastbone, over one hip, avoiding her knees for now. She lifted her leg up, balancing Kira’s ankle on her shoulder, and began massaging her calves much as Miles had done to her earlier.

Kira’s head tipped back further into Julian’s lap and she groaned gutturally, her eyes sliding closed. As Keiko’s hands worked deeper, Kira writhed underneath her ministrations.

With all his nerves, Julian had not expected this scene to affect him as much as it was, but the combination of the movements of the woman on his lap and the incredible _noises _caused his pants to be uncomfortably tight all of a sudden. He straightened slightly, carefully angling himself so there was no chance Kira would notice his arousal. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Miles was similarly affected, but not making any effort to hide it.

“Mmm, Cala,” Keiko whispered. Then she moved her hand casually to Kira’s knee, making the movement a natural part of the massage.

Kira’s breath stuttered. “Um…I…yellow?”

Keiko’s hand fell away from her legs. “What is it you don’t like darling?”

Kira’s eyes fluttered open. “Knees?”

“You don’t want me to touch your knees, Cala?” Keiko clarified.

“Right, um, no knees.”

“Okay my darling. Are you all right to continue?”

Kira looked at her. Keiko nodded in encouragement.

“Yes, all right to continue.” Kira’s cheeks dimpled as she tried to suppress a grin.

Keiko smiled. Then she wriggled up the couch, trailing her fingers again so she maintained some kind of physical contact with Kira almost the whole time. She lifted Kira’s hand and began a massaging her palm between both of hers.

“Up for a little adventure, darling?”

“Mmm hmm. I mean, yes, I am.”

“I’m going to gag you now, Cala.”

Both Keiko and Kira’s eyes flitted to Julian. He wondered for a moment if they had sensed his unease. Thanking the stars for the surgical residency training that meant he could control any tremor that would otherwise give the lie to his calm façade, he lifted his hand, meeting Nerys’ gaze.

He swallowed, then as gently as he possibly could, he slowly slid his hand across her beautiful mouth, not applying any pressure, just holding it there, cupping her chin very lightly.

She looked up at him, huge brown eyes sparkling, and full of so much trust it took his breath away.

Keiko just waited, watching the two of them. Then she resumed the hand massage, her movements flowing as she worked her way up Kira’s arm.

He could feel her moans through his hand now, the vibrations going straight to his groin, and it was all he could do to suppress noises of his own. Sighs from the other chair indicated Miles shared his predicament, and Julian while he knew it couldn’t happen tonight, he longed for them all to be unleashed and to play together.

“Let’s spice this up and blindfold you too,” Keiko murmured, locking eyes with Nerys, who opened hers at Keiko’s words. When Kira nodded slightly, Keiko looked to Julian. He dug his toes into the carpet, another wave of nerves coming over him, but he steeled himself, and even more slowly than before, moved his hand over Kira’s face, watchful for any sign of genuine discomfort.

He had barely ghosted his cupped hand over her eyes when the fingers of her right hand went wide. He pulled both hands back even before Keiko gave him the command to do so.

“Cala? I’m undoing your gag now I’ve seen you safeword, so you can talk.”

Kira blinked. They were looking at her expectantly. 

“How do you feel?” Julian’s voice was soft. Kira sat up and abruptly pulled him into a hug.

“Nerys? You okay?” He strategically adjusted himself to hide the extent of his arousal as she cuddled into his embrace.

“I’m wonderful, but you looked like you needed a hug.”

Julian closed his eyes and hid his face in her hair, tightening his arms around her. 

She smiled at him shyly as she pulled back to meet his eyes. “I thought you were going to have a heart attack or something. She tentatively placed her palm on his chest. 

Julian took a breath, thankful that his heart had stopped thudding quite so loudly in his ears. “It’s you I’m worried about,” he murmured.

“You don’t have to, I’m a big girl Julian.” She softened her words with another smile and turned to the O’Briens. “That was fun!” She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, biting down on it gently as she and Keiko shared a look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually know what 'consent play' is (google was no help!) but this is the kind of thing I like to imagine it is :) feel free to disabuse me of my romantic notions if it's actually rape fantasies or something!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, this is my first time posting DS9 fic here, it has been on my hard drive a long time!
> 
> I don't have a DS9 beta but I'd love one if anyone is interested, or if you see typos or have fixes or concrit feel free to leave in a comment <3


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